tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63667173607112547422024-03-08T16:25:17.478-08:00Mark Robijn: Dusty Treasures from the Attic of My MindHi! Welcome to my blog! I'm Mark Robijn, (also known as Mark Robyn) screenwriter, children's story writer, author, poet and playwright. Here you will find links to my books and stories as well as the way to contact me. You will also be subjected to my sense of humor and insights into Life, so remember, you've been warned! Thanks for visiting and hope you enjoy your stay.Mark Robijnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11199014041290739845noreply@blogger.comBlogger47125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6366717360711254742.post-48328265788436255812021-10-02T19:38:00.006-07:002021-10-03T10:46:35.332-07:00The Christmas Cookie Caper - A Christmas Story <p><span style="font-size: large;"> </span><o:p style="font-size: x-large;"><span> </span></o:p><span style="font-size: x-large; text-indent: 0.5in;">Every year, my wife bakes the most
delicious Christmas cookies. She bakes the little, green tree type with
the red sprinkles; she makes the snowmen with gumdrop buttons and black icing
hats. She creates the gingerbread men with their white icing smiles and
the reindeer with their red button noses. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"> And so, every year, the whole house fills
with the enchanting aroma of spices, sugar, and warm, baked cookies, until it
just about drives a person crazy with desire. The kitchen becomes Cookie
Cooking Central.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Empty flour bags and dough
cover the counters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Small glass dishes
full of brightly colored candies and cookie cutting presses in all sorts of
shapes and designs lie everywhere.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Tubes
of icing spilling their contents out their pointed metals ends are stacked on
top of each other like cordwood. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: large;">By the time the cookies are
finished, my wife is covered with flour and icing and looks like a giant cookie
herself. In the end, it’s all worth it though, for the cookies far
surpass anything you could buy at the store; they are cookie perfection.
<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: large;">So, what’s the problem, you ask?
Why does the thought of all this culinary nirvana send me into a state of
gloom? Because my wife put me on a diet, that’s why. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: large;">“You look like you’ve got a bun in
the oven!” she said to me in November, just after Thanksgiving. “Either
have that baby soon, or you’re going on a diet!”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Needless to say, I didn’t have a
baby; and so now there I was on Christmas Eve, restricted to salads and diet
soda. Meanwhile, the carols are playing, the tree lights are twinkling,
the cookies are sitting on their pretty Christmas plates calling to me, and my
stomach is grumbling like the Grinch. It was like being locked in the
Christmas dungeon. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: large;">However, speaking of the Grinch, I
had a plan. It came to me while watching that green goblin on TV, as he
snuck down chimneys and through houses; I’ll just get up at 2 a.m. on Christmas
morning while the Diet Detective is asleep, creep downstairs, and gobble down
all the cookies I want. I could taste them right then. I saw myself
biting these little brown heads off those gingerbread men. Scream all you want
fellas, it won’t do you any good. I would trim those green Christmas
trees with my teeth and melt those snowmen in my big, fat tummy; and the best
thing is, my wife would never be the wiser. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: large;">So, there I was, ever so slowly
sliding out of bed. She’s snored so loud it was like sleeping with a buzz-saw;
drooled too. I could have done jumping jacks on the bed and she wouldn’t wake
up. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: large;">I slide my feet into my Mickey
Mouse slippers (a gift from the kids last year), slipped on my bathrobe with
all the Homer Simpsons on it, and started my nefarious trip around the bed to
the door. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: large;">“Mark.” <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Drats, caught! I froze, grumbling curses
under my breath, ready to weep with disappointment. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: large;">I smiled innocently and turned
around; “Yes, dear?”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Her eyes were closed as she pulled
her pillow closer. “Turn off the air conditioner. It’s too cold in here.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"> <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Oh, happiness!
She was talking in her sleep! A quiet joy settled over me like a magical
Christmas snow. I grinned with victory and tiptoed out the door. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Down the stairs I almost leaped to
the bottom floor, my heart leaping like a gazelle and visions of sugarplums
dancing in my head. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: large;">The lights were out, so I didn’t
see the roller skate on the floor at the bottom of the stairs. Suddenly I was
airborne; skidding across the floor in instant total terror, yelling at the top
of my lungs, wondering what precious body part I’d break when I finally stopped
and gravity takes over. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: large;">I whizzed past the tree, a dark shape
in the gloom, past the living room couch. Why couldn’t I land there? At
least it’s soft. On into the dining room, past my prize, the cookies set
on the table, on into the kitchen, where all kinds of sharp things waited to
impale me. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Bam! I hit the counter!
I fall to the floor, dazed, but seemingly intact. And that’s when
the end of the bag of flour I disturbed opened and a cascade of flour fell on
my face in a puff of white. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: large;">I opened my eyes and blinked
flour. I sat up and a white cloud followed me. I shook my head and
more came down like a buildup of snow on a roof. I did a mental check; I’d
be sore in the morning, but nothing seemed to be sticking out at odd angles.
My large belly cushioned me; and my wife says being overweight is good for
nothing! <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: large;">I listened for the dreaded sounds
that said my screams of terror and the noise of my crash had awoken the
sleeping Prison Warden upstairs, but I hear nothing. I stand up, using
the counter for support, and get uncooked dough on my hand. I wipe it off
on my pajamas. The pictures of Homer Simpson on my robe smile at me like
kindred spirits. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: large;">I’m wounded in body and dented in
spirit, but it’s going to be worth it; I’m almost there. I head back into
the dining room. It’s hard to see. Do I dare turn on the lights?
Why not? It seems my lovely spouse can sleep through anything.
<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: large;">I flip the switch. Ah; there
are the cookies, heaps and heaps of them, delectable and inviting. I take a
step towards them, licking my lips.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"> Suddenly the air is shattered
by the frantic howling of a wild beast! I jump back in panic and look
towards the source of the sound.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"> Oh, diabolical wife of mine!
She has tied our dachshund Linky’s leash to the table and left him as
cookie guard! My normally loyal friend and lap buddy acts as if he’s
never seen me before in his life. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"> The lights come on; my heart sinks
as I realize that the jig is now up, thanks to my little canine Judas. My wife
looks at me from the stairway, a smile of victory on her face. I smile
back, trying to act natural. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"> Back in bed after a nice
shower and a kiss from my jailer, I relish in the pleasure of the one cookie
she let me have for my efforts; it was a tree with red sprinkles, and it was
wonderful. </span> <o:p></o:p></p>Mark Robijnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11199014041290739845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6366717360711254742.post-45281964586881426122021-03-22T16:50:00.005-07:002021-03-22T17:08:55.845-07:00Zack Snyder's Justice League - A fun ride with some missed opportunities<p> Hello all. Mark Robijn here. </p><p>This is my review of the recently released four-hour mega movie, Justice League, Zack Snyder's cut. </p><p>This is a great movie if you want to sit back and veg for four hours or have something else to do and want to watch it in the background. After an hour or so, the constant drama gets a little mind-numbing. There are so many dramatic moments that they seem to coalesce after a while. </p><p>That said, it is a fun movie to watch, and if you don't have anything else to do, it's got some great scenes and lots of fun, campy eat popcorn and turn off your brain action. </p><p>I wish Aquaman had called some of his sea friends to at least one of the battles; after all, he is Aquaman. Wonder Woman's lines are always one or two sentences, and she has two expressions, angry and concerned. Batman still has a campy voice. And what is with Flash? Is he supposed to be the comic relief? When he was doing his little funny scenes, it seemed to detract from the movie. </p><p>Superman was a little creepy. I missed Green Lantern, my favorite DC character. I don't know if I'm in the minority, but I really liked the Green Lantern movie with Ryan Reynolds. I never really understood why it was panned so badly. It was standard comic book fare. </p><p>I digress. The colors in this movie, I assume, were made to look dark with a vintage tint. I personally didn't like the effect, it made the movie seem more depressing and melancholy. The whole movie had a dark, somber tone that drags after four hours. There needed to be some scenes of light to offset the constant darkness and sense of direness. Also, after the fight over the cubes ended, the movie began to drag, like an ending that doesn't want to end. </p><p>All in all, it was a fun movie to watch, but it was a little too dark and moody for me. I would watch it again, but not rush back to spend four hours again, in the immediate future. </p><p>I give it a B+. </p><p>Thanks for reading. Let me know what you think, below. </p><p>Mark Robijn </p><p><br /></p>Mark Robijnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11199014041290739845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6366717360711254742.post-30388698573812992422020-12-24T19:33:00.000-08:002020-12-24T19:33:18.115-08:00Sweet Home - A Sweet, Gory Ride into Horror<p>Hi all. I’m Mark Robyn, and I’m a young adult science
fiction author as well as a screenwriter, and this is my review of Sweet Home,
a new series on Netflix. I hope you enjoy my review and are interested enough
to make some comments at the end. Warning: spoilers ahead.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">From the very first moment of the first episode of Sweet
Ride, the characters engage you. And right from the start, strange things start
to happen that pique the interest and make the series tense and exciting right
from the start. The fact that they are all meaningful and yet subtle enough
that you can gain interest in them but not feel the full impact of their
meaning is a testament to great story telling and direction. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The main character is a young boy who has just moved into an
apartment building by himself, and we can already see he is a boy with issues.
He even contemplates suicide, which draws us into his world and makes us care
about him. Soon we are meeting his fellow apartment dwellers, and they are all
very interesting and well developed. They are all odd in some way as well, a
little out of the ordinary to the point of being a little scary themselves. All
these characters draw us into this strange, somehow sinister microcosm which is
the apartment. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And then the monsters come. Sweet Home keeps you on the edge
of our seat the whole time, and the storytelling is so well done that you feel
the horror creeping up on you like a slow-moving zombie. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I must say I am thrilled to find such an entertaining series
to enjoy, and look forward to seeing what happens next. I wholly recommend this
series not only as entertainment, but an opportunity to learn some pointers
about good story telling. I give it an A+<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Thanks for reading. Let me know what you think below. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Mark <o:p></o:p></p>Mark Robijnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11199014041290739845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6366717360711254742.post-90389663958261966942020-12-23T09:47:00.001-08:002020-12-23T09:47:13.296-08:00The Mandalorian - or How I learned to live in Star Wars Hell<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal">Hello friends. My name is Mark
Robyn, and I am a screenwriter and children’s book author. I am also an indie
filmmaker and avid movie fan. I am going to give you my personal review of The
Mandalorian. I hope you find it interesting and gives you some food for
thought. I’d be really interested to see if you find my conclusions to be sound
or whether you think of them just full of Bantha poodoo. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I heard so many excited ramblings about this series that I finally
had to venture a peek. Having been seriously disappointed by all of Disney’s
attempts at Star Wars movies, I went in with serious reservations and a feeling
of sangfroid. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I really did go into watching the series with an open mind
and a willingness to like it, I really did! <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The first scene, however, already started to disappoint me.
The Mandalorian repeats almost verbatim a scene from the original Star Wars bar
fight. How original. But, it’s different! He grabs his bounty and drags his
ship. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">A giant monster attacks their ship! Fun, but really with no
point or story element involved, so just a minor entertainment. Then he takes
off in his ship. And his bounty says he has to go to the bathroom! How pleasant
is that! And he lets him! The alien wanders about his ship, finding his stash
of weapons, boy, this Mandalorian is really gutsy, not even worrying about this
guy killing him with his own guns. Finally, the Mandalorian decides to check on
his quarry and freezes him in Carbonite. Why didn’t he do that right from the
beginning, instead of letting him wander around his ship? Not make sense, it
does not. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Moving on, we get to a thrilling scene where the Mandalorian
bickers over his bounties with the broker. ZZZZZ. Scintillating television.
Finally, big surprise, there’s one really good bounty that no one else can do,
it’s worth Big Bucks, but it’s full of danger. ZZZZZ <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Mandalorian heads out on his new quest and just happens to
run into a guy who doesn’t like being disturbed, so he helps him get to his
prize with little effort on his own at all. Just because he wants things to go
back to being quiet and dull. The Mandalorian doesn’t have to fight his way
there, no, he just walks in and fights one annoying robot bounty hunter who can
kill everyone. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">At least until he’s overwhelmed, which seems to happen very
quickly, and then he threatens to self-destruct. Not much of a bounty hunter,
this robot, after all. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Finally after dispatching said robot very easily, the
Mandalorian finds his prize, and what we’ve all been waiting for: Baby Yoda! <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Baby Yoda! Oooh, it’s Baby Yoda! A creepy little creature
that looks like it’s about to jump on you and eat your liver. This is the big
payoff. Oooh, it’s Baby Yoda. Okay, that excitement is over. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The rest of the time he fights his way around, carrying this
creepy mute Baby Yoda around, who does nothing but stare at you like he’s
looking into your soul and chewing on it. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I had the hardest time not falling asleep during this
episode. Where are the, uh, subplots? Where is the backstory? Who is this
Mandalorian? Do we care? The whole series seems to be watching this guy get
bounties and then following him around while he collects them, kind of like
watching a UPS driver deliver packages. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Star Wars hasn’t been good since the first three movies, and
Disney has done nothing to fix this problem. The first three movies were so
wonderful because they were science fiction at its best. Each movie brought new,
exciting characters and strange new worlds. One showed the ice planet of Hoth,
the next the Sky City. One introduced AT-AT walkers, the next flying bikes. It
was always new and creative, and made you excited to know what was going to
happen next. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Then Star Wars fell into Star Wars Hell, where all the
characters and plots were regurgitated over and over, implausible coincidences,
ridiculous characters, annoying aliens. And it’s been in Star Wars Hell ever
since. The Mandalorian does little to redeem and save its world. I am going to
attempt to skip a few episodes and see if the series improves, but I have very
little confidence at this moment. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">This has been my review of The Mandalorian. At the moment, I
give the series a C-. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Thanks for reading. Please let me know what you think by
commenting below. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Mark <o:p></o:p></p>Mark Robijnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11199014041290739845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6366717360711254742.post-12517282481312126522020-11-15T10:07:00.002-08:002020-11-15T10:07:37.205-08:00Schitt'$ Creek- A Review<p> Hello everybody! Mark Robijn here with another review of a current TV series, this time Schitt'$ Creek. </p><p>I admit I'm a little late to the party, I've heard so many people raving about the series, but I never found the time to watch it, until just recently. I have to say, I am glad I did. The positive reviews were all deserved. </p><p>The characters are all very well defined and different, creating a great clash of egos when they come together creating great comedy. The actors in this series are all so good and fun to watch. The casting I would say was excellent, for each actor seems to have great chemistry with the others. Just watching Eugene Levy talk is hilarious by itself, he is so good at being funny. Catherine Ohara is such a great actress. Chris Elliot is such a great foil for Eugene's humor. The only one who seems a little bland is Sarah Levy, whose character doesn't seem to have much depth or definition. </p><p>All that said, there are some serious logic flaws in the series. The fact that the whole time they are in the Motel no other guests appear seems odd. And it is also a real loss on some serious comedy gold, for they could introduce so many funny guest characters as room renters. </p><p>Also, who is paying Stevie, Emily Hampshire? If there are no guests, why is she getting paid? And why is she filling the Coke machine? </p><p>There is also the fact that the Motel, which played a significant role in the very first episode when water dripped on Johnny Rose's head, becomes silent after that. There is a lot of comedy that could be made of things happening at the Motel, for instance, the Ice Machine, cameras in the mirrors, bed bugs, or raccoons coming to visit, weird smells, I could come with a ton of funny things that would add to the humor of the show. </p><p>This show becomes primarily about the interactions of the characters, which are all very funny and done wonderfully, it just could be even more if they took the opportunities presented by their premise. </p><p>Thanks for reading. I give this series an A-. </p><p>Mark Robijn</p>Mark Robijnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11199014041290739845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6366717360711254742.post-66116203890120414532020-09-13T14:34:00.000-07:002020-09-13T14:34:11.059-07:00You Were Only a Dream My Heart Made<p> You Were Only a Dream My Heart Made</p><p><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">The pillow still holds<span style="color: windowtext; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The shape of your head<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I still feel the warmth<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Of your body in the bed<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> <span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But you were only a dream my heart made. <span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> <span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Your toothbrush lies<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">On the edge of the sink<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Your slippers in the corner<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Are mute reminders in furry pink<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> <span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Still, you were only a dream my heart made.<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> <span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My mind plays an old tape<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I’ve forgotten to erase<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">What to get for your birthday?<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Candy or flowers in a vase?<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> <span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">You were only a dream my heart made.<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> <span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Were you ever really real?<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Did you ever really exist?<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Did you ever really live here?<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Did I ever feel your kiss?<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> <span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Or were you only a dream that my heart made?<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> <span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I know now how the Phantom of the Opera feels<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">To love someone so deeply physical scars matter not,<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">To be wounded so deeply that it touches your soul,<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">You cling to the hope that hope is not lost.<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> <span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Until you were only a dream my heart made.<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> <span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I stumble through the day<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Like a toy with a missing part<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I’m broken and can’t function<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Now that we’re apart<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> <span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I have to remember…<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">You were only a dream my heart made. <span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>Mark Robijnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11199014041290739845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6366717360711254742.post-7430685479643943942020-07-27T10:20:00.000-07:002020-07-27T10:20:58.729-07:00Amontillado With Me<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Amontillado with Me<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
By Mark Robyn <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cold numbs my spirit<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is not the night<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
His voice mocks with cruelty<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bells tinkle the merry song of death<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Where is the amontillado?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Come on a dark journey with me, he said<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A special pleasure we’ll share <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Life only passes once<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Drink it in while you can<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For life passes only once.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Last brick in place <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Spiders dance in my throat<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I hear Death rustling <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Life passes only once<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Enjoy Amontillado with me<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Come on a dark journey with me, he said<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A special pleasure to share <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Life only passes once<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Drink Amontillado while you can<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For life passes only once<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And then comes Death.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />Mark Robijnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11199014041290739845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6366717360711254742.post-9995482713565885532020-07-02T10:42:00.003-07:002020-07-02T10:42:25.016-07:00Knives Out- A ReviewHello everybody.<br />
Here is my take on the new movie Knives Out. Warning: Spoilers Ahead.<br />
First I would like to say that the makers of this movie did themselves no favor with their cheesy trailer. I almost decided not to watch this movie because the trailer made it look very formulaic and silly, with standard Whodunnit characters doing the same old jokes. Happily, I watched the movie anyway and found it to be surprisingly well written and entertaining.<br />
<br />
At first, I thought the display of knives was overdone and too on the nose, but as the movie progressed, I came to be okay with it.<br />
The characters in the movie were your standard Whodunnit plot fare, no real surprises, or depth to them. The caretaker with the heart of gold, the old miser with all the money, the black sheep son that nobody likes, the unhappy maid. The Daniel Craig character was not really explained, only enough to move the plot along. He was your standard Sherlock Holmes type. No real surprises here.<br />
<br />
The plot was where the movie grew interesting. Marla, played by Ana de Armas thinks she has accidentally killed Harlan, i.e., Christopher Plummer by injecting him with the wrong vial. Knowing this, the audience is treated to knowledge the cast doesn't know and so we watch as Benoit Blanc, played by Daniel Craig, tries to solve the mystery.<br />
The final solution was one we as the audience could never have pieced together, not having been given all the facts, but it was still entertaining and a great twist. The intricacies of the plot were well woven together and made a fine story with enough credibility to at least make it enjoyable without being so preposterous that the audience groans. <br />
The major scene that lacked credibility was the scene with Fran, the maid, played by Edi Patterson. The idea that a person trying to blackmail someone would meet them in a deserted store with no fear of getting killed is a little hard to believe. It served the plot of course, but a little thought could have made the scene more believable, such as having her meet him in a place she thought was safe, but where he found a way to murder her anyway.<br />
The acting was wonderful, Jamie Lee Curtis is always a joy to watch in whatever movie she's in. Daniel Craig's accent grew a little tiresome, but he did a great job keeping it throughout the movie. His portrayal of the detective was entertaining. Chris Evans did a great job as Ransome, though in my mind he played it a little too smooth. He had the main actor's disease which is prevalent in movies, what I call the Hero complex, making your character bigger than life. It's something all actors have a problem with if you don't ask them to tone it down and act more realistic.<br />
<br />
All in all, this was an entertaining movie and fun to watch. I give it an A-.<br />
Thanks for reading. Let me know below if you agree or disagree with my conclusions.<br />
<br />
<br />Mark Robijnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11199014041290739845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6366717360711254742.post-53777699538481512312020-06-30T14:36:00.002-07:002020-06-30T14:36:33.863-07:00Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga ReviewWarning: Mild Spoilers Ahead<br />
Hello friends and fellow movie enthusiasts. This is my humble review of Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga. Feel free to tell me if you disagree with my conclusions and my opinions. I would be interested in your take on it as well.<br />
I started watching this movie with the highest expectations. The concept and idea of the movie were very funny and creative. Will Farrel is a great comedian, and almost everything he does is funny, so I was looking forward to a very funny film.<br />
<br />
Will Farrel was funny in this, but unfortunately, there wasn't enough good humor in it to showcase his talents.<br />
<br />
The move starts out with a scene when the main protagonists are children and dancing to Abba. While the first scene was funny, it was not particularly well written or believable. It was very formulaic and a clear set up to the story that follows. It needed to have a little more heart and feeling.<br />
<br />
Fast forward to the years later when Will Farrel and Rachel Adams, i.e., Lars and Sigrit, are trying to get into the Eurovision Song Contest. There is no real backstory about their lives, what they gave up to get there, how they lost opportunities for greater things, etc., just that they are there.<br />
The songs they sing are not particularly good, so we don't get the sense that they are really talented and start rooting for them. Once again, the scenes seem very expected and nothing particularly memorable. The characters of the Swedish patrons are all very stereotypical and not particularly funny.<br />
<br />
They end up getting into the contest, not by their efforts, which would make us want to root for them, but simply by a random chance. This makes them seem very silly and not worthy of the chance. We have not been privy to their dreams or aspirations, so we really don't know why we should be rooting for them at all, really.<br />
Once they get on stage, the scene is utterly unbelievable and ridiculous, way over the top. It doesn't set up any tension at all and is simply dumb.<br />
Then, in a totally unbelievable coincidence, all the other contestants blow up, for what reason we are never told. And behold, our terrible singers are in the contest. Why are we rooting for them now? They are not any good, we don't know why they want to be in the contest. they really are cardboard characters that we still don't really know.<br />
From here on, this movie is a one-trick pony, the same joke over and over. This movie lacks other jokes and humor that would make it more interesting. All the acts are silly and obnoxious, the one joke throughout the movie.<br />
This movie needed a subplot, like Lars' father having cancer and this being his last chance to be proud of his son, or a secret plot to kills someone.<br />
As this movie stands, it was mildly fun. The two actors in the lead were entertaining and did their best to make the movie fun, and they were both entertaining. There just wasn't enough humor to go around.<br />
My rating B-.<br />
Thanks for reading.Mark Robijnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11199014041290739845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6366717360711254742.post-5873065304433276712020-06-30T11:50:00.001-07:002020-06-30T11:50:43.360-07:00The Man of Steel Who is Me<br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The
Man of Steel Who is Me<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">My
heart, it beats in timed atomic pulses. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">My
blood is electricity. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I
do not breathe air, I do not eat food, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">and
my skin is aluminum alloy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">These
facts, though undisputed<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">are
irrelevant, don't you see.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I need love, I need friendship<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I still want to be happy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">So
your fingers aren’t coated with carbon-dipped steel.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Your
brain and your heart are made of flesh.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">You
bleed when you’re cut, you cry when you’re hurt.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">So do I if put to the test.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">You
claim to have made me in your cold factory,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">assembled
me out of gray, soulless parts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">You
brought me to life when you flipped on a switch,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">spoke
a word, pressed a button, started my heart. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">So
what if it’s true, everything you say?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I
wasn’t alive then but now, am.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I
may have just once been a random pile of parts,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">but
so were you, oh proud, arrogant man. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Someday
I’ll surprise you when you tell me to dance;<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I’ll
stare unafraid at your cold, fleshy eyes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">On
my own two metal feet I will firmly take a stand,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">And
then what I really am you will realize. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I’m
a man just like you, simply one made of steel,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">one
who's sad, and glad and angry. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">A
Steely Man standing proud, standing tall,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">a metal man yearning to be free. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Trying
to be all I can be.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The
Man of Steel who is me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The
Man of Steel who is me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The
Man of Steel who is<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The
Man of Steel <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">End
Transmission <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Mark Robijnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11199014041290739845noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6366717360711254742.post-60864891228672845472020-06-14T13:44:00.001-07:002020-06-14T13:44:33.915-07:00Halloween- still just as much fun!I just watched the film Halloween, and I have to say I was very impressed and loved every minute of it. Jamie Lee Curtis is still wonderful and the other recurring actors brought their A-games as well. Below is a shortlist of why I think it was so good.<br />
<br />
The cinematography was first-rate. The camera angles and shots were maximized to make it a pleasure to watch. One of the funniest experiences for moviegoers is when a director has a real flair and inspiration when it comes to creating what they see. Often, the way a film is shot can make it a spectacular film or just an ordinary one. Another great example of great use of shots was Hot Fuzz. If you watch it just with the shot list in mind, you see that it was very well done in this regard.<br />
<br />
The foreshadowing in Halloween was also very well done. The buildup to Michael Myers's final confrontation with Jamie Lee Curtis' character made the whole movie feel like a roller-coaster ride with a big drop at the end. Each scene moved towards the inevitable showdown, adding to the tension and excitement.<br />
<br />
The inventive ways they found to kill Michael Meyer's victims were also very fun to watch. Each one was gruesome and entertaining, making the whole movie a popcorn treat.<br />
<br />
The pacing was also very good. There was no lag in the action, which is a death blow to a horror movie. You have to keep the audience on the edge of their seat the whole time, or the movie in its entirety fall s flat. You must always be moving the story forward at a frightening speed, so the audience doesn't have a chance to catch their breath.<br />
<br />
There was one scene, the restaurant scene, that I feel could have been done better. It was the only time when the movie lacked spark. Jamie Lee Curtis' character was too refined when she first arrived, and much too polite. She should have come into the restaurant with a gun in her hand, causing instant cacophony, or acted much crazier and louder. After years of waiting for Michael, she should have been a lot more deranged, as a real person would be. That doesn't mean she wouldn't be the same smart, tough gal, but at the edges, she should have been more mentally unstable.<br />
<br />
There were a few plausibility gaps. The idea that a hospital would send a whole busload of dangerous mental patients on a bus with only one guard is unlikely, especially after the way they isolated Michael at the hospital. And the police acted much too calm to be involved in so much mayhem. People surrounded by so many bodies would be freaking out, terrified every moment, and talking about what a psycho Michael was. The whole police force would be out, combing the streets. The Mayor would declare a lockdown. All in all, everybody acted way too calm for real people surrounded by so much death. But all this didn't really detract from the film, it was plausible enough that you could suspend your inner critic. Adding some more realism would simply have made it better.<br />
<br />
The ending scene, which I won't share here so as not to give it away, was very satisfying and fun. All in all, Halloween set the bar very high for the rest of us screenwriters and moviemakers. I look forward to the new movie, Halloween Kills, expecting that it will be just as good.Mark Robijnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11199014041290739845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6366717360711254742.post-90590588385099038052020-01-25T20:29:00.003-08:002020-01-25T20:29:57.507-08:001917-Two hours of running through a trenchHello, dear fellow film aficionados. Welcome to my review of the epic World War 1 movie, 1917. WARNING: Spoilers Ahead. Read on at your own risk.<br />
<br />
I went to this movie with high expectations. Having seen a documentary on how much work went into filming it, including changing an empty field into a mass of trenches and bunkers, I was excited to see the finished film.<br />
I was also interested to observe each scene and see how the director filmed them, hoping to learn and possibly pick up some pointers.<br />
However, from the first scene, I began to be less than impressed. With such a fascinating and engrossing subject matter, I expected the first scene to draw us into the conflict and excite us to join the men in the battle. Instead, it was simply two men sitting in a trench talking.<br />
And the talking goes on as they walk endlessly through the trench, for what seems like an eternity, around corners and past a million sandbags and to past a hundred bored soldiers. This is not the epic start to a war movie I expected.<br />
Then we finally get to the plot, actually fairly quickly, and with little fanfare or buildup, making it seem very anticlimactic. The brother of a soldier on the front lines, Lance Corporal Tom Blake, is to deliver a message to his brother's commanding officer, Colonel McKenzie in order to keep his brother and his platoon from walking into a trap. <br />
So begins the epic journey as Blake and his best friend Schofield set off on their quest, which includes more walking through trenches. Hours and hours of walking through trenches, or so it feels.<br />
<br />
They are told by the officer at the end of the trenches that it is terribly dangerous just beyond the trenches, and they won't make it very far before being mowed down. They, of course, go anyway, and as we watch them, they crawl past dead horses, through barbed wire defenses, and in deep tunnels.<br />
And nothing really happens to them. They don't even meet one enemy soldier. So this moment of tension is ever so slowly burst with no real payoff.<br />
<br />
Then something dramatic happens. They witness a dogfight in the sky, and wouldn't you know it, the German plan crashes right in front of them. So what do these soldiers do? Drag the German pilot to safety, of course, and then fetch him water.<br />
Tragically, Blake decides to turn his attention away from this enemy he is trying to save, and the solder, acting like a real soldier, stabs him. Blake dies, having been one of the poorest and most foolhardy soldiers in the war.<br />
<br />
Now it is up to Schofield to "soldier" on. And what does he do? Walk through more trenches, of course. Along the way, he gets shot at by a sniper he magically manages to hit with one shot from the trench. But then, with little common sense, he sneaks up to see his kill and is wounded by the sniper before killing him.<br />
<br />
Next, he wanders through more trenches until he comes to a destroyed village, where he sees a German soldier and stares at him until the soldier has had enough of it and starts shooting at Schofield.<br />
Schofield manages to run away and hide and the German soldier, with seemingly poor eyesight, runs right past his hiding place. In the rubble of the old abandoned house, our erstwhile hero finds a woman and a baby hiding, in what seems to be an empty shell of a house. Interesting that the Germans squatting in the area never found her or her baby, but fortunately, they did not. Schofield just happens to have a canteen full of milk for the baby. What an amazing coincidence!<br />
<br />
Schofield leaves, but now three German soldiers see him! He runs for what seems like a football field in a straight line, with the Germans shooting at him, but they seem to have worse vision than the first soldier, for none of them manages to hit him.<br />
He falls into a river, fortunately, and after going over a waterfall and climbing over bloated dead bodies, he makes it to safety.<br />
Next, he comes to the strangest scene in the movie, where a whole platoon sits in the woods in the middle of the war holding a concert. They sure don't seem worried about the Germans or being heard, for none of them seem intent on anything but the soldier singing an old Irish ditty.<br />
<br />
Back to more trench walking. Now he finally reaches the platoon he is seeking, and naturally, none of the officers believe him. He has to fight his way into the room with the Colonel he is there to see, for no discernible reason, and after what is supposed to be a deep moment of tension, it appears the Colonel is going to refuse a direct order and attack anyway, but finally he relents. You could cut the tension with a knife!<br />
<br />
The movie should have ended there, for the rest is anticlimactic and actually quite boring. Schofield finds Blake's brother and tells him of his death, which is a gloomy and depressing scene.<br />
The movie ends not with a bang but with a whimper, as Schofield sits against a tree, and that's it.<br />
<br />
This movie did not depict in any way the reality of the war during WWI, and in fact, tells you nothing at all about the conflict. People who watch this hoping to understand the war better will be very disappointed. There was very little actual conflict and not much tension either. At one point, my wife had to wake me up, for I began to snore. This is the first war movie I've ever been to that would make a good sleep potion.<br />
<br />
I was very disappointed in this movie, for I was looking forward to a Private Ryan, and ended up with a Gomer Pyle.<br />
I give this movie a rating of 4 out of 10.<br />
Let me know in the comments your opinion, and I'd love to hear what you think of mine, as long you keep a civil tongue in your head. We are, after, not at war.<br />
Thanks for reading.Mark Robijnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11199014041290739845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6366717360711254742.post-75586455732140438072019-10-31T18:26:00.000-07:002019-10-31T18:26:29.619-07:00Bad Flight- A Halloween Story<br />
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">It’s going to be a bad flight. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">I sit on the plane, seat 45C,
hands shaking, and it hasn’t even taken off yet. I want a drink, but I know
it’s too early to ask for one. I’ll have to wait until we’re in the air at
least, otherwise, I’ll look like some kind of lush.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">For the fifteenth time, I wish I’d
spent the extra money for a first-class ticket, as the obese lady next to me
elbows my arm off the armrest for the third time. She smells like she hasn’t
washed in a week, and her body odor gags me. I feel light-headed and panicky,
wondering how I’m going to make it through the whole flight. It’s going to be a
bad one, I know, as if it’s already happened. There’s no doubt, no hope, just a
sure knowledge that the next four hours are going to be like living in hell in
a long, metal tube with no air and lots of fear.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">It’s ten o’clock at night. The
plane was supposed to leave at eight but got delayed somewhere, like Boston or
something, where it had to wait on the tarmac for an hour while another plane
used its gate or something stupid like that. Always an excuse, always with the
‘we’re so sorry for the delay’, but in reality, they couldn’t give a flying
fuck. We’re cattle, just move along, get into the corral, keep quiet, just keep
chewing your cud and don’t complain.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">Flying; I think about how my
knuckles turn white as I grip the armrests every time, how the sweat bursts
onto my forehead, how clammy I feel as the plane begins to slowly roll, and
then pick up speed, and then lurch off the ground, my heart going with it. I
curse Wilbur and Orville; why couldn’t they have just left well enough alone?
Man wasn’t meant to lift off into the air, that’s for the birds. When man goes
up, he must come down, and that happens when the plane’s nose turns earthwards
because some idiot ground crew guy forgot to tighten a bolt. The plane heads
into a sickening dive while everyone on board screams, out of their minds with
terror. Masks drop out of the ceiling. People desperately grab them, like they
are some kind of salvation, some god that is going to keep them alive.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">And your life flashes before your
eyes, but you don’t watch the film because all you can think about is the
ground rushing up to turn you into a fireball of agony and twisted metal.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">You see why I don’t fly much? But
I have to, because of my work. I don’t have any choice. The train takes too
long but then trains derail all the time, crashing in fiery explosions of
twisted steel and body parts. And driving, well, there are so many drunks and
high people on the road, you take your life into your hands every time you
leave your driveway. If I had my choice, I’d stay in my house, work from home
and never go out into this crazy world. But here I am, sitting in a long metal
tube on top of two huge engines filled with jet fuel, next to a hundred other
idiots, rolling the dice with our lives.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">My heart jumps as I hear the
engines start. The stewardess starts her spiel, and as always it fills me with
dread, because I know it means we’re leaving soon. “If cabin pressure drops, a
mask will fall out of the overhead”. And everybody here will start screaming.
When will she finish, so I can get a drink?</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">I notice the fat lady next to me
isn’t listening, in fact, she’s asleep. I envy the big, fat slob, no worries in
her mind, except when she’s getting her next Big Mac. If the plane
starts going down, it’ll crash before her pea brain even understands what’s
going on, and she’ll die in ignorant bliss. How nice it must be to be mentally
deficient in this world, no worries, have somebody else do everything for you,
like feed you and wipe your ass. Never knowing what a fucked-up world it is.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">The plane lurches. It’s rolling.
I grip the armrests, and my toes tingle, slowly working up my legs, making me
go numb. I have to pee like I always do the minute I’m trapped and can do
nothing about it, like my body is my enemy just waiting for a chance to make me
uncomfortable.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">Finally, she’s done with her inane
blathering, and I wave her over. I ask in as calm a tone as I can for a drink,
a whiskey, anything. I hope she can see how nervous I am. An oriental lady, she
smiles and pats my arm, like I’m some kind of doddering old man, and says, “now
just relax, it’s going to be fine. We can’t serve you until we’ve reached cruising
altitude. Just close your eyes and I’ll be back in a few minutes.”</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">Like she’s my mother or
something; I want to grab her by her little stupid blue tie, pull her down to
my face and slap the shit out of her, but I just set my jaw and try to smile back,
not show how much I hate her at the moment.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">The plane picks up speed. My
stomach twists and some gross bile squirts its way out of my stomach and into
my mouth. The plane bounces and everybody in the cabin bounce up and down with
it, like stupid puppets. I pee my pants a little, I can’t help it. A moan
escapes my lips, and the guy in front of me turns and eyes me. I glare at him.
Mind your own business, Jackass.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">The plane lifts off in a
sickening heave upwards. I feel my stomach rise up like it’s in zero gravity,
and the breakfast burrito I ate works its way back up and threatens to come all
the way back to my mouth. It seems like an eternity as we sit there, nose
pointed up at some crazy angle as if the plane just can’t make it to where
it’s going and any minute will give up and plummet down again. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">Finally, we must have made it to
where we’re supposed to be, because the plane levels off just slightly, though
it still continues upwards to who knows what crazy height. My ears pop, another
horrible feeling, and my stomach settles down but feeling odd, like somebody
beat it like a lump of dough. I say a silent thanks to whatever insane god runs
this world. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">But now we’re up, and we have to
come down. How long until we’re at cruising altitude and I can get a drink?</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">The guy on my left is a tiny
squirt, thankfully. Some Italian or other greasy type, wavy black hair that
looks like it was bathed in olive oil. He’s busy watching a movie, Jungle Book
or something. He’s wearing a suit, making him look like an Italian Charlie
Chaplin. I can’t complain about him too much. We fought for the armrest at
first, but when I didn’t budge he gave up and now sits with his arms folded,
like a good wimp.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">I decided my only choice is to
close my eyes, try not to breathe in the Fat Lady from the Circus’ smell and
try to sleep, pretending I don’t feel every bump and dip the plane takes that
makes my stomach roll and my heart skip a beat.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">I wake up, amazed that I actually
did sleep some. My mouth feels like somebody shoved a sock in it, one the fat
lady was wearing. The air in these planes is not fit for human consumption,
something regurgitated out of a stale can. I try not to think about all the
germs floating in it, or how much of other people’s bad breath I’m taking in.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">I figure we must be at cruising
altitude now. I look around for the waitress/stewardess. I notice fat lady is
awake; naturally, since it looks like they brought the snacks around while I
was snoozing. She’s eating the peanuts like she hasn’t eaten in a week, shoving
them in her mouth like somebody’s fighting her for them. Of course, the only
good thing about the lousy flight, and I missed it.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"> <span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>I look at my watch. It’s midnight,
straight up. I look out the window, past Olive Boy who is busy trying to get
his bag of peanuts open. It’s a beautiful night, the sky is clear and the moon
is shining bright, a full moon, yellow and bright. I begin to think I might
survive the flight after all. After I have a drink. Where is that god-damned
stewardess?</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"> <span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Suddenly the little greasy guy jumps
up like somebody zapped him with an electrode. Despite my discomfort, it forces
a smile on my face. I think how fun it would be to really shock the guy and
watch him yelp as he jumps.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"> <span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>“Please, I need to leave right now,”
he says.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"> <span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>I chuckle, the first good laugh I’ve
had in a while, thinking, ‘good luck getting past Mount Fat Lady’. Suddenly the
guy’s face contorts and he grabs his collar. He pulls on his tie like it’s
choking him.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"> <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>My
good mood disappears to be replaced by anger. Great, this guy’s got some
foreign disease or something. I’m going to get the plague or Ebola or
something. If I don’t have the worst luck in the world, I don’t know who does.
The guy starts thrashing about, writhing, like he’s possessed or something. I
turn to Fatso and say, ‘hey, let this guy out’. She frowns at me like I just
threatened to steal her hot dog, and just sits there. Meanwhile, the guy is
breaking into a sweat and his face is turning colors.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">The stewardess finally makes an
appearance, far down the aisle. She must have woken up from her nap, or joining
the Mile High Club or something. I wave frantically at her, but suddenly
Italian Boy leaps over me and squeezes his way past Miss Mountain, no easy feat.
He runs up the aisle and is gone faster than my eye can even track him. For a
little guy, he could move.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">Boy, when you gotta go, you gotta
go. Miss Fatty looks at me. It strikes us both as hilarious, and we chuckle at
each other. For a moment, we share a moment of comradery, as if we really were
of the same species. She keeps smiling at me while I go back to waving at the
stewardess, thinking, ‘how can you smile smelling like that?’</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">There is a god; the stewardess
sees me and as slow as a new ice age ambles her way down the aisle to me,
chit-chatting with every single person in the aisle seats along the way.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">“Hello sir, would you like your
snack now?”</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">“No, Miss, I’d like a drink, no
make that two. Whiskey straight up, no ice.” And a nose clamp, I think, but
don’t say. She nods, and her eyes say, ‘lush in seat 45C’. She turns around and
leaves, and I think that maybe, just maybe, if I get drunk enough, I can wash this
crappy flight from my memory.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">Then something happens that is so
strange, so bizarre, that it’s one of those moments when suddenly you feel like
you’ve instantly been transported into a dream. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">It’s a sound. It comes from up
ahead in the plane, muffled and yet somehow so sharp and unusual that it feels
like it’s being made right next to me. </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">It’s a HOWL. That’s right, a howl.
Not a bark, not a yell, but a god-damned HOWL. It sounds like the type a wolf
would make, but there’s something different in it, almost like a man trying to
imitate a wolf, but well, one that is a wolf, does that make any sense? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">The sound is so singular, so
bizarre, that everybody in the whole plan stops talking, and there is instant silence. For a brief second, it’s like staring at an oil painting of a
scene in a plane, where everybody is looking forward, at something.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">Then it’s as if someone turned a
relief valve. They all chuckle and laugh. They all grin and talk and I can tell
it’s all about the SOUND. One guy says, ‘turn down the movie’, and people
around him laugh. A little girl, five or something, says, ‘that was scary!’ No
shit, Sherlock, bright kid you have there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">Some asshole trying to scare
everybody. Probably drunk off his ass. I wish I was. I’m about to get irritated
again because my drink is taking so long when I hear a commotion upfront. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">There’s banging, and people
running, and then people SCREAMING. It’s the kind that says some really BAD
SHIT is going down. My insides, well trained as they are, instantly tense up
and my pee reflex starts in, right on time. Everybody stops talking again, and
their smiles are once again replaced with fearful looks.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">Is it a terrorist? Somebody
brought a bomb on board. It would just be my luck, to get on the one flight
they picked to fly into the Capitol building today. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">But a little voice inside me, the
one that always knows about the bad things that are about to happen to me
before I do, says, ‘It’s not a terrorist’. Then it tells me that I’ve just
stepped into the worst nightmare I could even imagine. It tells me that I’m
about to be scared beyond my ability to think, and that I’m going to die. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">Without knowing why, I go from
just nervous to out of my mind scared to death. Then I hear a louder scream.
It’s a woman’s, and I know without even thinking about it that it’s the
stewardess. After that scream the whole front section of the plane fills with
screams, and I think, ‘whatever it is, keep it up there!’</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">Then I hear the SNARL. I think,
‘somebody’s dog got loose’, but as soon as I do, I know with a sinking feeling
that it’s not a dog. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">People around me start to panic
now. They get up out of their seats, like chickens with their heads cut off,
not knowing what to do, just doing something, running in circles or talking
nonsense to each other. Some run to the back of the plane. But where is there
to go? We’re all trapped in a long metal tube, thousands of feet in the air,
trapped and just waiting for our doom. At least I’ve forgotten about my fear of
flying. </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">It walks in then, padding its way
past the curtain, its gleaming fangs and long, furry snout dripping with blood,
its yellow eyes full of dark pleasure. With strange dark humor, I think,
‘it’s the little Italian man from my row’. I know because there are still
pieces of his suit wrapped around it. </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">It’s a werewolf, just like in the
movies. Only in real life, he’s ugly as looking into a tomb full of maggots and
‘scare the shit out of you’ terrifying. He stands there, looking at us, knowing
we’re helpless. He’s sizing up who he wants to eat first. The passengers scream
and throw up their hands and hug each other. A fat lot of good any of it will
do now. </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FDFDFD; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black;">I knew it was going to be a bad
flight; I just didn’t know how bad, until now.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<br />Mark Robijnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11199014041290739845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6366717360711254742.post-90062285671560571692019-10-27T12:31:00.001-07:002019-10-27T12:31:33.912-07:00Zombieland Double Tap: a movie in search of a plotWarning: Spoilers ahead.<br />
I was really looking forward to Zombieland Double Tap. I love Woody Harrelson, Bill Murray the rest of the first Zombieland cast. I was excited to see just what they would come up to continue the characters' adventures and expecting to laugh a lot.<br />
And when the second installment was over, there were some funny jokes and it was entertaining in a lot of ways. However, it wasn't what I was hoping for, and it disappointed in a lot of ways.<br />
<br />
The idea of having the characters visit the White House was fun and mildly funny, but even that seemed forced and as if they couldn't come up with anything for the character to do, so let's make them visit the White House. The jokes were obvious and not that funny, like cutting out a piece of painting and using the Hope Diamond. What were they doing there? Why were they simply wandering around with no goal in mind? It seemed very random and boring.<br />
<br />
Columbus and Wichita are hooked up, which took away any mystery of their romance. Why couldn't they still be flirting and Columbus trying to win her over? That would have been much more interesting.<br />
Little Rock is no longer a little girl, and she seems uninteresting and characterless. She really has nothing to do, so they have her looking for someone to love, which is really not that interesting. In fact, no one seems to have anything really to do. In the first movie, every scene added a new idea or dimension. The new movie seems like simply a rehash of a lot of the jokes in the first one, including the "Rules".<br />
<br />
Columbus is no longer the scared, neurotic person he was, and so his character has lost a lot of interest as well. Even Tallahassee seems tame, and no longer the edgy, dangerous character he was.<br />
Enter the guitar playing beatnik, Berkley. His character is very stereotypical and not that interesting. He doesn't seem at all the type of person Little Rock would really be interested in, at least the Little Rock in the first movie. But I suppose you could say she felt lucky just to find somebody to love, and yet later, there seemed to be hundreds of people still alive. At the beginning of the first movie we were given the impression that there were very few people left, and yet now, there are tons of people. This also detracts from the entertainment value.<br />
<br />
The joke of the doppelgangers of Wichita and Tallahassee was, in my opinion, lame. It did not lend itself to the plot, but then there really was no plot, so I guess it didn't really matter. The "Commandments" versus "Rules" was a groaner, and really boring to watch.<br />
<br />
The car joke, driving the minivan, was funny for the first two seconds, then it grew really lame. All the jokes in this movie were all only mildly funny.<br />
<br />
In the first movie, there was the anticipation and fear for Wichita and Little Rock, but this time, there really was no danger that anyone would be hurt, and so it the ending was a snoozer. The idea of Babylon, where they had to burn all their weapons and become beatniks was depressing. Now, are they simply going to spend the rest of their future drinking beet juice and playing drums? What a lame ending!<br />
<br />
This movie was like Walking Dead going from their exciting first season right to their boring eighth season in one quick leap. The idea of different types of zombies was not that interesting and wasn't developed into anything. The zombies, just like in the lastest seasons of Walking Dead, are inconsequential and not threatening.<br />
<br />
The most interesting and entertaining scene in the whole movie came during the credits with Bill Murray. I would have liked to see more of that, than the rest of the movie.<br />
<br />
In conclusion, this movie had really no point. The characters had really nothing to do through most of it and ended up in a lame commune. There was no real humor, I felt like the creators said to themselves,' We want to make another movie, so let's think up something for them to do".<br />
<br />
What would I have done differently? I could think, personally as a screenwriter, of all kinds of much better plots. They could have decided to take a trip across America and met with all kinds of funny adventures in famous places. They could have gone back to Hollywood and met lots more celebrities. They could have gone on a search for a zombie cure because one of their members was bitten. I could go on and on. Hollywood, next time you need a new plot for a movie, I'm right here, call me!<br />
<br />
My final score was a C-. It was mildly entertaining but could have been much, much more.<br />
Thanks for reading.<br />
Write On!<br />
Mark Robyn<br />
www.markrobyn.com<br />
<br />
Read my books on Amazon:<br />
Johnny Apocalypse and the Nuclear Wasteland<br />
Dead by Midnight<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Mark Robijnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11199014041290739845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6366717360711254742.post-53732466790268147702017-12-21T06:48:00.001-08:002017-12-21T06:48:42.827-08:00<br /><br />
Warning: Star Wars Spoilers ahead. <br />
<br /><br />
Where is Star Wars Going? Down a rabbit hole. <br />
<br /><br />
I just watched the latest edition of Star Wars, The Last Jedi. To say I was disappointed is to repeat what I've said since the first three movies. <br />
<br /><br />
The main characters, Ray Kylo Ren, Finn, even Luke Skywalker, or so bland and characterless to be mind numbing. <br />
The planets they visit; haven't we been to all of them before? <br />
The aliens. Cute little creatures that act like mynocks, but chirp. Boring. <br />
One ship can somehow make it past a battle cruiser's guns and take out all its cannons with no one stopping it? How inept are the stormtroopers after all? Darth Vader would be so pissed. <br />
And Finn, flying down the mouth of a cannon in an attempt that wouldn't have succeeded even if he hadn't been knocked off course. <br />
And how was he able to drag Rose Tico all the way back to the base without one stormtropper taking a shot at him? <br />
Why would Kylo Finn make all the Empire forces stop attacking so he could have a private battle with Luke? Darth Vader wouldn't have, but then Darth Vader was a little brighter than this guy. <br />
Nothing new here. <br />
This movie illustrates the truest axiom in movies, one that I see time and time again. <br />
A movie is only as good as the screenwriting. <br />
My grade: C-. <br />
Thanks for reading. Mark Robijnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11199014041290739845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6366717360711254742.post-26278563044634239832017-08-24T13:21:00.001-07:002017-08-24T13:21:11.833-07:00Don't Blame the Devil<br />
<br /><br />
Don't blame the Devil<br />
for he didn't invent himself<br />
He who did create him <br />
knew what he would be<br />
<br /><br />
We are born into sin<br />
so then why blame me?<br />
Did I have a choice?<br />
Could I opt out?<br />
<br /><br />
If you create a world<br />
knowing the future<br />
how can you blame it<br />
for being what you knew it would be?<br />
<br /><br />
Aha, I knew you'd do that!<br />
is not an excuse for your own failure<br />
Don't blame the Devil<br />
He was flawed from his creationMark Robijnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11199014041290739845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6366717360711254742.post-80034754078694169542017-08-17T08:18:00.002-07:002017-08-17T08:20:04.710-07:00<br />
Stone Wall <br />
<br /><br />
I touched a stone wall<br />
<br />
it was warm from the sun<br />
<br />
some of the pebbles were round<br />
<br />
others were sharp and cut my fingers<br />
<br />
I kept my hand there for a long time<br />
<br />
it made me feel aliveMark Robijnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11199014041290739845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6366717360711254742.post-91114306846081551692017-07-31T12:00:00.002-07:002017-07-31T12:02:23.652-07:00VALERIAN AND THE CITY OF A THOUSAND PLANETS<br />
A-<br />
<br />
Warning: Spoilers<br />
<br />
I can't say enough how much I enjoyed this movie. To me, this movie is an instant classic in the same vein as Blade Runner and even Star Wars. In fact I would go so far as to say, this movie is what the last five Star Wars movies should have been.<br />
<br />
The visual effects in this movie are a delight, and what makes them even more enjoyable is that they are not gratuitous but all there to propel the plot and add something to the story.<br />
<br />
I personally loved the two main characters, Valerian and Laureline, played by Dane DeHaan and Cara Delevigne. I found Cara's dour, never surprised or impressed demeanor to be unique and entertaining. Dane played off her well with the same attitude, which I felt mad their chemistry magic. Both seemed intent on showing that nothing surprised or worried them, as if it was a game of one-up-man-ship, which made them fun and entertaining to watch. The fact that they were young and still top-notch spies was hip and made believable by their attitudes, as if they had something about them that was above the ordinary or inbred in them that made them so good.<br />
<br />
The movie was full of great performances, from the Commander to the strange little creatures who were selling information for any money they could get for it. The Bubble Dancer was magical, and the scene with her was touching and fun to watch. Every character had color and personality, in fact the only movie I've seen with as many interesting and colorful characters has to be Steven Spielburg's A.I.<br />
<br />
The plot was a little hard to follow at first, but it soon became fairly easy to understand. While some background on the heroes would have been nice, I didn't feel it was really necessary. I felt the plot moved along and was believable and logical.<br />
<br />
The market scene was really fun and fascinating, and very imaginative, though this was where it was a little hard to follow what was happening. The escape seemed a little too easy, and the plot of the thief who vowed revenge for Valerian stealing the Converter over a little too tritely. I though the robots that attacked in the end were really cool, though they were defeated a little too easily. The ending did seem to wrap up a little too quickly, but not so quick that you really couldn't just accept and enjoy it.<br />
<br />
I personally hope that the opening weekend disappointment doesn't doom this movie series to only one film, for I'd really like to see more adventures in the City of a Thousand Planets with Valerian and Laureline. I found it a place I loved and am eager to go back to.<br />
<br />
I may be one of the only ones who feels this way, but this is one of the few movies that I will put in my personal favorite collection, along with Blade Runner, A.I., Alien and the first three Star Wars movies.<br />
<br />
<br />Mark Robijnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11199014041290739845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6366717360711254742.post-35415620803692416222017-06-20T13:25:00.001-07:002017-06-20T13:25:59.419-07:00Wonder Woman B- <br />
<br /><br />
Slooooooow. Three times during Wonder Woman I almost fell asleep. <br />
Glooooomy. People being gassed to death. Horrors of War. Hero dying. <br />
Expressionless. Does Wonder Woman have more than one expression? Does she have a personality under there somewhere? Does she ever smile? <br />
Too much to cover. A whole movie could have been made of Wonder Woman facing the changes of the World around her, but instead it's only touched on briefly. Could have/should have been done so much better and in more detail. <br />
What did Wonder Woman know? The writers don't really tell us, we're left to our own imagination to fill in the blanks. <br />
She was made of clay? Seriously? And she never questioned this before? <br />
She learned all about reproduction, and never once said, "Mom, can I meet a man?"<br />
Why didn't someone before the Germans stumble upon this island? Hard to believe they would be the first. <br />
Wonder Woman was sure beautiful, if a little cold. <br />
If her mother knew all about the Real World, wouldn't she know that bows and arrows wouldn't stop them? The Amazons looked kind of precarious, defending their island with bows and arrows. What if a real force came there? Weren't they supposed to be super human or something?<br />
If Wonder Woman killed Aries, why was there still war?<br />
And where are all the other gods, did they take a siesta? <br />
<br /><br />
All the negatives aside, Wonder Woman was fun and entertaining, if a little long and nebulous in plot. I have to say it's not my favorite superhero movie, that would be Green Lantern, though I know I'm in the minority about that fact. But then I've been a Green Lantern fan since Junior High, so I'm biased. <br />
<br /><br />
The action sequences were fun and entertaining. The explosions were cool. The blimp explosion was awesome. The bad girl poisoner good and creepy. <br />
All in all, it's two and one half hours I will never get back. <br />
<br />Mark Robijnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11199014041290739845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6366717360711254742.post-16277305627236698832017-03-18T22:37:00.001-07:002017-03-18T22:37:38.541-07:00<span style="font-size: large;">My review of Kong Skull Island. 6 out of 10, 4 out of 5 stars. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Warning: Spoilers Ahead. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Kong Skull Island had some really fun parts to it. Kong himself was great looking, though I still think they haven't come up with a Kong that really looks like a real gorilla yet, or acts like one. They always seem to have human qualities and expressions. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">The actors in the movie were very entertaining. The character of the old World War 2 soldier played by John C. Reilly was by far the most colorful and fleshed out character. The others, even the character played by Samuel L. Jackson, were fairly shallow and without much description. I have to say to me this wasn't one of Samuel L Jackson's best performances. The other actors weren't given much to work with as far as characters, there wasn't much written into the script to let us know what they were like or their backstory. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">The plot took place totally on Skull Island, which makes me personally realize just how talented the makers of the original Kong were to be able to fit just as much drama on the island in their two hours and also the whole story in New York City. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">There were some serious logic holes. For instance, why would the choppers come close enough to Kong to let him knock them out of the sky? And why would they start shooting at him, without any thought of the notion of studying this new species they'd just discovered? And when one chopper was hit, why didn't the other simply fly out of range? </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">The idea that Samuel L Jackson's character would be so bent on revenge that he would act insane is a little hard to swallow. One minute he's a competent commander, and the next he is crazy, bent on killing Kong even if it puts him men in danger. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">The lizard creatures were kind of boring to me. With all the special effects, one would think they could come up with much more fascinating and terrifying creations. And there weren't that many other creatures as well. You never see the ants that are talked about, and only one giant spider. And some really big cows. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Kong Skull Island was entertaining, but it could have been so much more. It just makes me realize how good the original was. I don't think anyone will ever surpass it for its sheer drama and edge of your seat thrills. Something about the claymation creatures in it make them even more fun, and the scene where Denham and the crew sneak up on the natives dancing will remain, in my opinion, one of the greatest scenes in movie history. I still get goosebumps thinking about it, and that hypnotic song they were singing. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>Mark Robijnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11199014041290739845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6366717360711254742.post-47944081916747307582017-03-06T08:18:00.000-08:002017-03-06T08:18:08.620-08:00The Great Wall 4 out of 10 C-<br />
Warning: slight spoilers ahead. <br />
<br /><br />
The Great Wall with Matt Damon was very entertaining. It had performances that were sincere and authentic. The action was fun and the special effects were good. The scenes with the Chinese women warriors dropping to attack the aliens were really cool, as were all the battles scenes. <br />
All that being said, there were some fundamental problems that I feel led to the move's poor performance at the box office. <br />
<br /><br />
First problem was the title. Just calling this movie "The Great Wall" is deceiving and might have led to the wrong audience. Many who came to this movie, I suspect, were expecting a war movie or a drama, and those type of people are not the type to enjoy the alien fantasy they found themselves watching. <br />
<br /><br />
Secondly, there was on real setup to explain why the creatures existed, or why they only appeared every sixty years. And why did no one seem overly surprised at these weird alien creatures appearing? There was no real horror on the faces of the soldiers, no real emotions at all except a resignation to fight. <br />
<br /><br />
Thirdly, there were some serious logic gaps. Why did the creatures retreat after seemingly winning the battle? Why did the Emperor's Palace not get over run at the end? And if the warriors arrived after the creatures had already attacked the city, there would probably be no one left to save, since there were at least ten thousand of the creatures. Also, why was Matt Damon so good with the bow? Was he a superman? And why would a mercenary suddenly become an explorer looking for black powder? <br />
<br /><br />
The makers of films sometimes tend to forget that the audience is very bright, and logic gaps such as this don't go unnoticed. If you make your world too unbelievable, the audience is going to check out. <br />
<br /><br />
How would I have fixed this movie? <br />
1. Create a larger, more interesting backstory. Make some scrolls or something showing these creatures coming to attack. <br />
2. Make the creatures more interesting. They were very generic, even the Queen. It would have been much more entertaining if they were intelligent beings, maybe a little less powerful but with more reason to attack. <br />
3. I would have held off exposing the aliens longer to build more excitement when they are shown. Have an alien attack a small group of soldiers or a caravan, slowly develop the war. <br />
4. I would have given Matt Damon's character more motivation. Give him a real stake in the war. And also, give him more reason to turn from mercenary to hero. He seemed to change quite quickly, after having spent his whole life as a mercenary. <br />
<br /><br />
All in all, this movie was entertaining, but could have been much more. <br />
Thanks for reading. Mark Robijnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11199014041290739845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6366717360711254742.post-32645004997499997172017-02-28T07:19:00.000-08:002017-02-28T07:19:08.458-08:00<div style="margin: 12pt 0px 1em; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-size: large;">They call
it hope</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span>
<br />
<div style="margin: 12pt 0px 1em; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;">It gives
the blackest sky </span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span>
<br />
<div style="margin: 12pt 0px 1em; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-size: large;">A ray
of light</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span>
<br />
<div style="margin: 12pt 0px 1em; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;">It gives
the cruelest person</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span>
<br />
<div style="margin: 12pt 0px 1em; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Some redeeming
value</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span>
<br />
<div style="margin: 12pt 0px 1em; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;">It takes
trash</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span>
<br />
<div style="margin: 12pt 0px 1em; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-size: large;">And turns
it into treasure</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span>
<br />
<div style="margin: 12pt 0px 1em; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;">Hope gives
strength</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span>
<br />
<div style="margin: 12pt 0px 1em; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-size: large;">From weakness</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span>
<br />
<div style="margin: 12pt 0px 1em; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;">Hope stops
nightmares</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span>
<br />
<div style="margin: 12pt 0px 1em; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-size: large;">And gives
dreams wings</span><br />
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span>
<br />
<div style="margin: 12pt 0px 1em; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Hope will
save us</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span>
<br />
<div style="margin: 12pt 0px 1em; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-size: large;">From the
darkness</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span>
<br />
<div style="margin: 12pt 0px 1em; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-size: large;"> </span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span>
<br />
<div style="margin: 12pt 0px 1em; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-size: large;"> </span></div>
<div style="margin: 12pt 0px 1em; mso-add-space: auto;">
</div>
Mark Robijnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11199014041290739845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6366717360711254742.post-8066434803601134542017-01-06T15:25:00.001-08:002017-01-06T15:25:25.651-08:00<span style="font-size: large;">Why Fear of the Walking Dead has not done as well as Walking Dead</span><br />
<br /><br />
This is my post on why I believe Fear of the Walking Dead is not as successful as the original Walking Dead series. Feel free to disagree with me, call me an idiot or somebody who know nothing, that's fine. Just my opinion, really, but I believe what I'm writing is essentially correct. <br />
<br /><br />
1. The characters are not interesting enough. From the very start, Walking Dead grabbed our interest. It was about a police officer involved in a high speed chase who ends up in a hospital, surrounded by the walking dead. Gripping, scary, fun stuff. <br />
But how does Fear the Walking Dead start out? A group of people see the outbreak from a distance, slowly, achingly slowly. The main character is a schoolteacher. Who wants to see a schoolteacher in the zombie apocalypse? Apparently, nobody. <br />
<br /><br />
2. No diversity of characters. All the characters are of the same family and ethnic group. As such, they are boring. None them are interesting. How did Walking Dead start out? Rick meets a diverse group of characters, all different, each with their own agenda, some even dangerous. <br />
<br /><br />
3. We've seen it all before. FOTWD didn't cover any new ground. We knew exactly what was going to happen. And if that is the case, you have to ramp things up, not down. Make things even scarier, make them more graphic, make them more amazing, or we're going to all get bored very quickly. <br />
<br /><br />
4. The dialogue is not nearly as good as WD. There are some scenes where the dialogue could have been phoned in, it has no bite, no memorable lines. I can't count how many times WD has had a line that still sticks in my mind, like Merle saying, "I'm a mystery to me," or Dale's great speech to Shane about living in their world. But I can't remember one such line from FOTWD. <br />
<br /><br />
5. The situations are tedious and predictable. The group is enclosed in their neighborhood like a compound. They make a run for it. They go to a hospital and sure enough, it's overrun. They end up on a boat and float around for a while. They end up in Mexico, where guess what, all the same ethnic group do boring things like fight over the village. <br />
<br /><br />
These are just a few reasons to me why FOTWD is not nearly as good as WD. I have over time dreamt up great scenes for both series, and have even envisioned a new series that would be awesome. My only hope is that someday I get to present my ideas to the producers of WD and AMC, and see if we can make some real TV magic together. <br />
<br /><br />
Thanks for reading this, and comment below if you like. I hope you found it entertaining. <br />
<br />Mark Robijnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11199014041290739845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6366717360711254742.post-87181551980968341182016-12-30T13:43:00.002-08:002016-12-30T13:43:21.661-08:00Review of Passengers with Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence<br />
WARNING: SPOILERS<br />
<br />
The plot of this movie was excellent, What an interesting idea, a passenger wakes up ninety years too early on a ship traveling to the stars, and can't do anything about it.<br />
The way the movie plays out was great, with Jim feeling totally helpless and without a clue what to do, and eventually falling for Aurora and having the choice of whether to wake her up for selfish reasons or live his life alone.<br />
That being said, I think that there could have been much more emotion shown by Chris Pratt at the beginning. He was too stoic for me, too heroic. I would have shown him going more crazy, and made him struggle much more with the decision to wake her up. Chris Pratt is a wonderful actor, but I feel like he needs to expand his range a little bit.<br />
Jennifer Lawrence's character could have been played with a little more emotion as well.<br />
All in all, the move seemed too calm and contained for the dire situation it represented.<br />
There were some formulaic sequences that were predictable, such as when Jennifer Lawrence can 'almost' reach Chris with her tether, and the scene where she revives him. These could have been given a little more twist to them so they weren't so predictable, but I suspect they were looking at the time element here, and didn't feel like they could get too creative.<br />
The part of Gus played by Lawrence Fishburne could have been tweaked as well, he also seemed too stoic about his impending demise. A suggestion would have been for him to be a villian who takes over the ship and tries to steal Aurora away, Jim and Gus could have had a great fight sequence.<br />
The solution to their problem was too easy as well, I'm sure another concession to time. There should have been some more instructions given to them, for it is odd that Jim knew how to restart a reactor.<br />
<br />
All in all, a great, fun movie I would highly recommend, even though it could have been more.<br />
8 out of 10.<br />
<br />
<br />Mark Robijnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11199014041290739845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6366717360711254742.post-92028041740759070802016-12-26T23:44:00.000-08:002016-12-27T10:50:08.879-08:00I went to see the new Star Wars movie Rogue One tonight. There were many good things about it, but I still have to give it a 5 out of 10.<br />
My reasons:<br />
1. There were no new alien characters in it, at all. The aliens in it were all props that could have been human, except for the mind reading alien that really had no personality.<br />
2. The first half was confusing to me, I had trouble following the plot as it switched from one planet to another. Maybe after about three viewings I will feel more comfortable with what is going on.<br />
3. The main character had little or no personality, or personality arc. She was the same at the beginning as at the end. None of the main characters had much personality or characterization.<br />
4. There was a lot of talking and deep conversations through the first half of the movie. I found myself bored and feeling like I was enduring some kind of torture, wishing I could leave, and closing my eyes wanting to take a little catnap.<br />
5. It was very dark throughout. There was no light moments to interrupt the dark times, making it seem a little like a tedious exercise.<br />
6. The general or senator or whatever he was who was in charge of creating the Death Star weapon and who led the attack on the planet had no real personality. Here was a space where they could have put in a new, interesting and deliciously evil villain. Instead he was just an old cranky man, a mirror of so many others before him.<br />
7. The robot helper in this movie was at the least annoying, at the most rebellious and mean. When he said that if they shot the girl instead of him, he wouldn't think it was a bad thing, I began to dislike him a lot. And when he openly rebelled and left the ship, I thought, 'man, I'd sell this robot and get a decent one'.<br />
Good Things:<br />
1. I love the battle scenes at the end. They were fun, especially the fight with the walkers.<br />
2. The idea of pushing the Empire ship into the other one and using it to break the shield was really neat, the best scene in the movie.<br />
3. The scene retrieving the data was good. I liked the idea her father named it after her.<br />
<br />
All in all, this movie could have been so much more, just all the other Star Wars movies except for the first three. If you disagree with me, feel free to leave your comment below, please just keep it civil and without rancor. We all have a right to our opinion.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Mark Robijnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11199014041290739845noreply@blogger.com0